The Xmas - Gift

Christmas is nearly here and I still haven't done any shopping yet! I keep telling my other half that I'm already gone shopping for Christmas. I was happy when we put up the Christmas Tree... I suppose some may find it a bit odd that I have a Muslim partner who has a Christmas Tree in his apartment!

So, we went shopping a couple of days ago and he pointed out one of the gifts that I am getting him for Christmas. I did everything in my power to persuade him that it would be better to get it after Christmas because it would be on sell... or we could find it cheaper else where! LOL...


what a silly little game -- I mean, we invest all this energy and time in a gift that most of us aren't even sure if that person will even like what we got them! Oh, well... I hope he likes this gift! I do thing we have a pretty cute Christmas Tree!

27 THINGS ABOUT ME!

1. I am not heterosexual
2. I love cooking books & magazines, but I never cook the recipes in them.
3. I have lied to protect my idea of self worth
4. My favorite colors are navy blue & emerald green, but I wear mostly gray & black.
5. I love coffee and often drink too much of it.
6. I can speak “some” Chinese, but sometimes I show off in front of others.
7. My sneakers stink!
8. I snore something wicked.
9. Driving is something I take for granted, I speed to much
10. I really want to be in the medical field, either a Nurse or Surgical PA.
11. I actually do not like my job, but I pretend pretty good.
12. I am addicted to Texas hold’em poker.
13. I have too much sex that is meaningless.
14. Movies are one of my favorite things to do.
15. I use my credit cards to much, so I cut them up!
16. Distractions are fun, but reality sucks.
17. I have thought about suicide, only thought about it!
18. People often think of me and a good person, but I do have a naughty seed inside.
19. I have grand ideas that I never complete. (incompletionism)
20. I am an (incompletionist)
21. Crying is a way to release that I am ok with! It brings the world back into focus.
22. I eat late at night and I over eat.
23. I want the title of Manger, but I do not want to work
24. I am a caring person.
25. I love my idea of beautiful people!
26. I love Barns & Noble and Borders Books stores
27. I want to move out of the USA for about 3 to 5 years - China, Europe, Argentina, Chile, North Africa, Canada, Aussie land!

A long Weekend Get-A-Way to Cape May!

I had never been to Cape May nor had I been to Wildwoods. But I have to admit, I really enjoy the weekend get-a-way provided by my little Algerian. We walked along the Atlantic Ocean breathing in the sea-air.



We watched the birds flow on the wings above and the shore splashed us when ever it could. The sky was filled with pillows of reddish orange clouds that seem to follow us ever with-way we turned. Off in the distance the pier stood clear of the salty Atlantic as low tide uncovered their bare legs.



The day was long and the time would pass quickly. We had hoped to enjoy as much of nature as we could before the evening slept and night would rise out and conceal all that we've enjoyed this day! I skipped pass a shell resting in the sand - washed ashore. The ornate lines reminded me that life itself is different for each of us, and even when enjoying the same moment our experiences are different, unalike... so very ornate!



I came away from my weekend with even more passion for life, for love, and an eye set upon change. I am thankful for these moments, I am thankful that I get to see more of the world that I thought was gone!

TURKEY DAY! GOBBLE GOBBLE~

So, this is the day that we all EAT too much! Yes, I'm guilty of this! Gorging myself until I can't feel my feet anymore! This is so bad! Yet, I loved every minute of it! hehe. So, here are so photos from my PRE-TURKEY DAY meal!

The menu consisted of the following:
- Red pepper hummus, Garlic hummus & pita bread.
- Roasted potatoes, with red peppers, onions, & fetta cheese.
- Cucumber tomato salad with olives.
- A very tasty Algerian treat called Tamina!
- Another Algerian dish called thayer fe'reh ثايرفي الريح or Vol-au-vent (french)
- Almond & raisin couscous.
- Orange Saffron & rosemary Chicken.
- Spiced Lamb with a Rosemary & Mango Glaze!
- Baklava & Pistachio chocolate rolls

Pony Ride!

I had a little adventure a few weeks ago. I did something that I had wanted to do for years... I have seen people do it before, but I didn't think I would ever do it! Oddly enough, it was easier than I could have Imagine! I went Horseback riding! :)

POST BIRTHDAY

Hey... I am officially a year older now! Man, last year was a ride... I was dealing with some interesting things. I suppose it would have helped to talk about those things with friends, but I didn't... I was silly and kept it all bottled up inside, which in my book is not a good thing to do.

So, I start this new year of my life with some interesting goals.

1st: I've decided to write a book! yes, you may be saying to yourself, WHAT? hehe. You are not dreaming; I did say I book. It will be about supernatural creature and what adventures that happen in the world of humans.

2nd: I've decided that it is long past time to shed some pounds... So, at the end of October, I will shift into 4th gear and get cracking. You may be asking yourself, why the end of October. Well, I figured, it would give me plenty of time to not waste money by just taking my time and eating all the old food that I have! Bad strategy? Perhaps, but who know! I'll let you know when I've shed about 40 - 50 pounds.

3rd: I've met someone that I think is a very cool person. He is a little older than me, say about about 10.5 years... but who cares... If Love can find me now, than so be it! :)

And lastly, I am living in my own place in downtown Philadelphia. I plan to end joy the city that I live in by going to more concerts, movies, art fairs, etc. So. lets keep the head up in the air, smile, eat good foods, chat with old and new friends, and just enjoy life for what it is and all that it can be.

P.S.

I did not check this for spelling and grammar! hehe.

OH CRAP!!! I ALMOST FORGOT!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

LOVE YOU!

From your first Born!

Something Very Big!

Wow... Its been a while since I've written on my blog! Well, I have not excuse for not writing. Well, maybe one little excuse. hehe. You see, I've been taking time off for myself. I've been spending time gathering my thoughts & my sprite. I've been reconsidering life. You may be asking yourself, what is he talking about. What I mean is, sometime in life we hit little bumps that stop us in our tracks. For me, I hit a pot-hole the size of Texas and it took a little bit of time for me to rejoin the rest of you normal happy... people. :) I'm glad that I've had the chance to meet really great people via the Internet. They have all provided me with words of wisdom, kindness, and most of all hope! For those things alone I will always be in your debt.

Thank you!

Tony-

what to eat?

So, its not a new years resolution, but I am participating in a weight loss study at the University of Pennsylvania. The study is for six months and the aim is the see how weight loss effects blood chemistry, body functions and most importantly, SNORING! Well, if you haven't figured it out already I'll tell you... I SNORE SOMETHING WICKED! haha...

So, I am seeing a dietitian who prescribed 1800 - 2500 calories a day. At present day I believe I consume nearly 4000 calories a day sometimes more! Crazy huh? Well I think so. My eating has been so bad that it effects my sleeping, so I was trilled to get into this study. So, lets see what happens in the next six months! :) Wish me luck and love!

Tony.

There were so many people, all happy, singing, loving and just enjoying the moment. I could not believe how that many people could come together for one moment in history.

I cannot tell you how exciting it was standing on The National Mall in front of the Capital Building, in Washington DC. Watching, President-Elected Obama become President Barack Hussein Obama made me proud. I have renewed faith in my country...

It is hard to think of words to say that express my feelings about those who care for me. I can only say that I truly appreciate the support. I have had a hard time dealing with a few things. I would like to have some excuse for why I feel the way I have recently. I would like to blame it all on the death of my mother (grandmother) who raised me. I would like to think that I couldn’t get over the fact that she had been living with cancer, two types, one of which was very rare for nearly nine years and only discovering them a year and two or so months before they took her life!

I would like to think that I had come to terms with that lost and not feeling like the one person that I cared so much for was gone. I could no longer call upon her to make me smile or listen to my crazy ideas of becoming wealthy. It was hard to think that the person who taught me to love LOONY TOONS, wasn’t going to laugh with me anymore or that I could no long remember her smile, her laugh, her scent! I would love to say that I feel the way I do now, because she isn’t here; but I can't.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t end there… I thought I was doing better. I thought that I could live life without her and I have. So, I turned to the one person who I knew would make me feel better; Daddy (Grandfather). Daddy was still with me, and daddy reminded me of her smile, her antics, and all the great foods that filled our bellys. But you know, life is a wicked-son-of-a-BITCH… Because only heaven would have known that just over a year after mom passing... daddy joined her! I WAS PISSED, HURT, ANGRY, AND MISSING MY PARENTS!

I knew that I had made my peace with dad, and I know that I was ok with him passing or so I thought. Everyone thought that dad was going to pass before mom did, but that’s not how life worked out. Dad had always been sicker than mom and we all knew that she did her best to take care of him. In all this, I can’t help but feel cheated… Yes, I have been selfish about the both of them, I mean… no one in our immediate family had ever died; mom was the first, dad was the second. Sadly enough, we all knew after mom died that dad wouldn’t be around much longer, and as sure as my name is Tony, that’s exactly what happen.

But what I didnt know was how hard I would take it. I didnt want to go to dads funeral where I had read a poem at moms. I didnt sit with my family, I stayed in the kitchen, I was rude and short with people, I was a complete, ASS HOLE! I just had to believe that through all the laughing at dinner where family and friends of my father ate, someone had to be feeling what I was! it wasn't a time to laugh, I couldn't bring myself to even eat! I was mad at them for talking as if everything was ok! I just never admitted it to myself until now! So, I carried that angry with me across state-lines from Detroit to Philadelphia where it sat at the bottom of my gut!

You know, I would like to blame my problems on their death… but you see, my issues had nothing to do with them. I know this… I have come to the understanding that I was not happy about things going on in my life, maybe mom & dads death was the catalyst, but even that seem far fetched, because the truth is inside me! I put up this wall; “oh Tony is ok.” I hid behind a mask! I hid the cancer that has been eating at me for more years than the cancer that killed my mother and I do not know why? However, what I do know is, I do not want to wait until its to late! I do not want to let my cancer kill me! I want to live, I want to feel better, do better… I need chemotherapy for the cancer that is inside of me… and I’ve started… the doses are hard and there us much to cure… but I know in the end that with the suppose of my friends I will overcome this and be more than ok, better than better and that alone is enough for me to keep fighting.

I love you guys! Thank you!