Where Is My Man!

I suppose I should be happy... I mean I do have a man. But why am I feeling odd about him being back home in West Africa? I believe it has more to do the we haven't talked much & every time I call it short. I called him everyday for the first few days. He hasn't called me once. I know he hasn't been home in 10 years. But am I wrong to feel this way? I suppose I shouldn't feel wired... ?

Where Is The Peace!?

Tony Johnson-Entezari:
Why do 'SOME' people think it is a good idea to "BURN THE QURAN" on 911???? HOW MANY MORE MUSLIMS ARE WE GOING TO PUSH TO HATE AMERICA BY THIS GREAT INSULT???? Don't people know that America's freedom of speech only applies to AMERICANS!??? More importantly that other people around the world do not necessarily underst...and what our FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS!!!??? THESE IDIOTS! COME'ON - TALK TO ME PEOPLE??? FOR-REAL!
See More

Rich Lawrence:
Not to mention the thousands of soldiers that are going to be in harms way because of this ridiculousness.... as if they aren't in enough madness already.
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Tony Johnson-Entezari:
Rich... I cannot believe - some of us AMERICANS have our heads so far in the sand that we cannot see the greater impact our decisions have on others around the world. Moreover, its so bad that we ignore the simplest of ideas (DO NO HARM).

So... many claim to be good Christians with good (COMMON SENSE), but I do not see it! Its laughable the way some of our Christian brothers and sister respond and not with good will... its with a big stick and criticism of anything that is different. I do not believe these are the ideas that "JESUS" taught, spoke of and hoped that Christians would follow!


Alan Wong:
did you hear what the pastor said? He said "America conquered the world, and now Islam will conquer us!" The guys is an imperialist nutbag.

Tony Johnson-Entezari:
Nut bag is a misnomer! This is a rogue Pastor trying to bring about "Prophecy" of the Great War and End of Day. This man has no regard for the safety of others and willing to disenfranchise Muslims in this awful attack on their most precious jewel, The Quran.

Rich Lawrence:
It's funny to me that there is a Christian that has a problem with an extremist Muslim... Yet he is an extremist Christian!? Last I heard Muslims and Christians were taught not to judge because it isn't their place. Period

Rich Lawrence:
The greatest commandment we are all taught is to love one another.

Tony Johnson-Entezari:
Honey, I am with you on this front... I am afraid of what these idiots are doing in the name of piety!

Nadia Brock O'Brien:
I can't believe they are going to do this in the name of all American.. No thanks!! this puts us all in danger and not to mention the Soldiers over seas right now....

Billy Woo:
You don't see crazy Muslims burning the Bible? Why, because at least they know not to go there out of respect. So why should any Christian burn the Quran?

Secondly, Christianity conquered the world for many centuries. Many bad deeds were don...e and millions of people suffered or died in the name of Christian God. It is a drop in a bucket when you compare the number of American killed by Islamic extremists. See More

Jennifer Pendergrass-Belknap:
we agree tony, some people are just ignorant.

Tony Johnson-Entezari:
@ Billy: Yes, you are correct. Did we all forget what THE LAST CRUSADE was about???? I do believe we "AMERICAN'S" have a 1st Amendment right to express this point of view. But when something like this is broadcaster around the world - we must keep in mind that most countries do not know what a 1st amendment right is, thus the concept escapes them! They do not understand that the President cannot tell or order its citizen to not burn Qurans, which implies that we as a nation agree with such behavior.

Why purposely set out to caution harm!? Why purposely set out to do an act which you suspect would be harmful and could have "Unforeseen" consequences; to prove a point? I wish this pastor was just trying to prove a point. He openly stated that he was a RADICAL CHRISTIAN! Well, since we have a history of rounding up RADICALS... maybe we should round up this mad man!? Once this gets out onto the internet there is not taking it back... It will be picked apart by "REAL ISLAMIC RADICALS" and they will us it to fan the flames of hatred.

Tony Johnson-Entezari:
@ Jennifer: Jennifer, ignorant is one world to use, however, I can think of some words that are not so appropriate to use. But as I just said to Billy... our actions matter... rights or no rights. We live in a MACRO world where news is ins...tant and a decision on this side of the planet can affect and shape the minds of others elsewhere.

To this pastor its just an expression of their free speech, which is their right. But with power comes great responsibility and this pastor has a responsibility to his congregation to be a good Christian, a loving Christian and teach goodness and try and brings people to Jesus not preach or cause hatred.

WTF IS UP WITH AMERICAN'S????

Why do 'SOME' people think it is a good idea to "BURN THE QURAN" on 911? HOW MANY MORE MUSLIMS ARE WE GOING TO PUSH TO HATE AMERICA BY THIS GREAT INSULT?? Don't people know that America's freedom of speech only applies to AMERICANS!??? More importantly that other people around the world do not necessarily understand what our FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS!!!??? THESE IDIOTS! COME'ON - TALK TO ME PEOPLE??? FOR-REAL!

What It Means To Be Us!

I am and have always been by your side, even when the thickest of nights black hid the stars from our gaze. No mans triumph is with out wounds, no mans success is with out pain. Your journey has always been filled with tribulations for which you alone have challenged and over come.

It is the wisdom that you seek that keeps you aloft and it is the wisdom that you possess that many aspire to have. Life has been both teacher & Master, never simple, never crude, just our own manifestations that we bear!

Love!

The Morning I knew!

It was morning and I opened my eyes to your smile. The twitch of your lips made me smile and remember my luck. My warm hand caressed your brow down the side of your face – neck to chest. I rested my hand there feeling the pulse of your heart. I could feel a change in my own pulse as it sped up to match pace with your own. The sandy bits of pebble in that old ornate hourglass hanging above the bed seemed to move in reverse. For a moment we lived each other’s life! The morning was gone and the afternoon sun crept through the windows. We embraced each other with no words from our lips. It was in that moment I realized it had always been you!

Broken Promise!

I almost forgot what listening to an old song can do for you. It can bring back memories from your past, people that you were friends with, and even those that you may have loved. I can unmistakeably say that the song that I'm listening to now has done more than just invoke old memories. For a moment I was transported back to the mid-80's and the topic was all about Aaron James Williams.

How many times can you be in the presence of someone and feel their love and never express it! What were we afraid of? Aaron always protected me and sometimes from myself! He knew so much more than I did. He tried to teach me how to be a man without giving up who I was as a person. He compromised himself for me, but I was too young, too immature to understand.

I can honestly say that if there was ever a love, a moment, an anything that was never said you can believe me, it was Mr. Williams. Aaron was my Sauveur and he rescued me on more occasions than I needed to be saved. I know that he loved me in several different ways and I loved him too. He was the big brother and sometimes father that I so desperately needed.

I can see his smile and sometimes and I can picture what his eyes were like. I don't know what drive me crazy the most; the face that I can't remember his face or that I never told him how much he meant to me!? I imagine both are equally as bad, since its been many years since he died and I still cant stop crying when I think about him! I can't get your memory out of my head! I love you always! I promised I wouldn't leave you and I did!

I miss you Aaron. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like you were for me! I hope you forgive me for abandoning you!

forever, your friend!

IS THIS TOO MUCH!

I know that we meet people, fall in love, and try to live happily-ever-after. In living this happy life, we as partners share a variety of things such as our love, emotions, food, time, finances, etc. But the question I ask, is there something... one little thing that you wouldn't share with your mate??? If so, what is it?

For me the sharing stops at my toothbrush!!! Yes, I said my toothbrush. You see, my boyfriend has a habit of using my toothbrush and thinks that it is ok! I mean, its not like we don't kiss deeply and or other things related to oral (WHATEVER)! But you get my point.

So why am I so freaked out about my mate using my toothbrush? In my mind, its off limits to his mouth! I think a toothbrush is personal like a retainer... can you imagine your guy using your retainer? that's just gross! LOL. Well, let me know what you think!

Coming Together - Learning A Lesson

You know, today I realized something that I had forgotten. I realized that I have someone that truly loves me for me. I realized that I should be more open, communicate more about things that really matters in my relationship and stop prejudging and trying to determine the outcome before the outcome has even come.

I need to stop pretending that I'm Ms. Cleo, and that my crystal-ball is all seeing and all powerful. Yes, I may have a bit of magic on my side but it doesn't give me card-blanch to make lofty assumptions. I will admit, I'm still a bit ticked that my special someone will not spill his guts about a certain conversation that he had with someone I know. But I guess I will have to man-up and move on!

Its good to know that being a bit older you can still learn now to handle things that come at you. Moreover, I'm happy to say that I am looking forward to seeing how things develop from here on out!

Interestingly enough, we picked up some words of advice from Tatsu 1 & Tatsu 2, a lovely Japanese couple that we met on our visit to the Empire State Building Yesterday. The advice is as follows - The only drama you will experience is the drama that you bring into your own home from outside forces. So, limit the outside worlds exposure to your inside world and let your relationship blossom... words of the wise!

I'm sure the Tatsu's had their share of issues. After all, they have been together for 13 years! ;) I wish them well as do I wish us!

COMPROMISE

Baby,

You are special and I love the things you do for me. I love the
trips that we take and the time we share together. I know
you love your time with me and that is awesome. But I can't help
but think that you want all my time! I do not necessarily think
that it is a bad thing, meaning you wanting to have all my time.

But keep in mind that if we are sharing a weekend get-a-way and
I have spent 99% of that time with you - It should be ok for me
to do something that I want to do. I really want you to understand
that it is not that I want to run off alone or even do crazy things.
I just want our timed get-a-ways to be fun for the both of us! This
does not mean that I didn't have fun this weekend! I enjoyed the
shopping, food, and most of all the Dolphin watching! It was great.

So, next get-a-way. I am not coming back to the house and sitting on
the sofa to play with my computer, when we could have been out either
me playing poker or us at the beach for a moon lite walk! because we
can (AS YOU WOULD SAY) do that at another time or at HOME! ;)

You have my hope, understand, and even my love!

Tony.

THE SITUATION

What is the problem with this situation!

How is it that you can introduce your boyfriend to a friend of yours. Then your boyfriend and your “friend” have conversations that are not discussed with you? They are in a since private conversations that neither your boyfriend or the friend tells you about.

Now, lets had another layers to this situation… There is another “friend.” And your boyfriend goes out to dinners with and not once has invited your to join them… Keep in mind that you haven’t spoken to this other “friend” in about 3 months and neither the “friend” or the boyfriend and mentioned you… ask where are you… when is the last time who spoke!!!

Now, how would you feel if you called your boyfriend and they were on the phone with your “friend” and did not click over to answer you. But instead continued the conversation. When you asked them who they were talking to, they say your friend. You ask why didn’t they click over and they say, because we were have an intense conversation… SHOULD THERE EVER BE AN INTENSE CONVERSATION BETWEEN your mate and your “friend”?


There is more to come on this subject… what do you think people!

The Maddness of Men

I would have to say that I've been a bit stupid. I am not sure if this is a problem yet, but I wanted to know if anyone has experienced this type of issue. I have someone I who I am friends with who no longer talks to me yet still hangs out with my boyfriend.

So, I called him and asked. He said it was something to do with not wanting to be a third wheel. I didn't believe him, so I asked what was the real issue. He then opened up and said it was about him thinking I was angry or upset that we didn't hook up? I found this crazy, considering neither of us were interested in each other after our initial meeting, but we hung out as friends.

I probed again - gentility, no, what it the real reason, non of this makes sense. He deferred to a comment that I make a few months prior about a Disney movie with the first Afro-American princess. I joking commented that after all these years she's still not black enough. He was upset with me, but never told me the real reason. He was holding to these feelings. He was hanging out and calling my boyfriend but not calling me or talking to me.

So, I came to him like a man should and as I said before asked why! Again he deferred to a new statement. I didn't know how to being up that I was still upset with that comment you made.

By the end of the conversation, so we made up and called it a day. we agreed that everything was Ok. Its nice to have my buddy back! Sadly, it was the first time we talk in about three months.

Through The Darkness

It is hardest to see the light at the end of any tunnel until someone starts to leads you through the darkness!

What We Had For Breakfast!

Today, Saad and I decided instead of going to Dennys, Bob Evans, I-Hop or Cracker Barrel for breakfast, we would go to the market and pick up some groceries and cook for ourselves. We save a bit of money by doing so and it was a good time for us to bond over brewing coffee and sizzling eggs! The feeling in the air was more than magical, just what Saad and I needed, a quiet comfortable morning.



At the end of whipping up a masterful breakfast we sat in front of an open sliding glass door with a wonderful morning breeze blowing through our flat. Saad sat the table, poured the coffee, the orange juice, and laid the flatware. Our neighbors seem to notice that something was in the air as their heads poked out from behind doors and window to get a whiff of what was cooking! We didn't invite them, but it was fun to watch their smiles and hands rub bellies. It was if they imagined what our breakfast would taste like on their lips.


At last... Breakfast was ready. We sat at the table, Saad saying grace in Arabic. We looked at each other, gave a good smile and dove into what was one of our best breakfast. Off in the distances, neighbors hustled to finish their yard work, lawnmowers buzzing & sheers clipping. We finished our breakfast with a toss of hot hazelnut coffee and a cheese danish. Today is definitely a good day. Our breakfast, Eggs sun-side up, Shiitaki mushroom/redskin potato hash, smoked turkey breast, multigrain roll, fresh fruit, Camembert cheese and you know the rest! YUM!

The fresh scent of Sangak bread

Persians are more than a part of my life, they are now a part of my soul. I have been blessed to be part of a Persian family. Persian traditions have become a part of my daily life and I am not sure how I ever lived without them, its as if I was born into the wrong family. I must admit - my Farsi is horrible but I am working on it and someday I will truly be able to communicate like a real Persian. So, today I will introduce you to Sangak. It is a bread made in a stone hearth and it is one of the most amazing tasting breads you will ever come across.



This is the Story of the Bread Masters of the Sangak by: Ali Moayedian. Every morning when we woke up, there it was; fresh Sangak bread from the local bakery. My father, who is in his 80s, and still faithfully taking care of his children, would walk to the bakery every morning and buy the fresh bread for us. The sight of fresh Sangak was but one of the things that made our last August trip to Iran a memorable.


Sangak is one of the main traditional breads in Iran. It is made in a gas fired brick oven. The baker, called Shater in Iran, will mix make the dough every day and usually makes the bread three times daily starting in the early mornings.



During our previous trip to Iran in summer of 2002, I had paid a visit to the local bakery with my father and taken pictures from the place and the Shater. This time around, equipped with a better camera, I mentioned to my father that we should take more pictures from the bakery. And without wasting any time, the next morning he had promised the Shater that I'd be there to take pictures J And from that day on, my father pressed me every day that we should go do it. But somehow things wouldn't work out and I kept pushing the plan to the next day.

As we kept closer to our departure date, my father kept reminding me every day about the photo shoot. He was really worried the Shater may become unhappy with him. And believe me you want to be in good standing with high profile people like the Shater in Iran. When it comes to Sangak, one cannot take these things lightly as it is one of the critical lifelines for the Iranians. What we are talking about is a steady and high quality flow of Sangaks, and with occasional splashing of sesame seeds!!


So finally I gave in and the last day of our trip we made the historical visit to the Sangak bakery. It seemed time hadn't moved since my last trip there five years earlier. The faithful Shater was still going and going. While in our high tech jobs we keep jamming more transistors on chips every year, and we keep shrinking the geometries, the Sangak was still the same old Sangak. It hadn't grown or shrunk. But the looks and the aroma were still as great as ever.


I chatted with the Shater a bit too. He said his name is Hassan Sabahi (I hope I have it right since I waited so long to write this). He then said, very proudly, that recently they had shot videos of his bakery to show abroad. But since he was really busy, I had to minimize the interruption. I took some pictures which I promised him to publish them on the internet. We then left happily with a few fresh Sangaks which I can promise you we put to good use with feta cheese and sour cherry jam J As they say in Iran: "wish you were there too!"

In loving memory of Iraj Entezari - Love you Daddy... You are always in my heart.

In Need Of God!

I can hear the buzzing loud music from my alarm clock. I was already awake but I lied in bed longer than I should have. I looked over and the Alarm clock – read – 8:24am. I dreaded the idea of actually making it to my ten o’clock meeting.

Today was unlike most days… I woke up with butterflies in my belly. This usually happens when I know something was wrong or when I know that I was in trouble. I tried to relive this feeling of anxiety with a cup of coffee and it has about as much effect as a Band-Aid on a bullet hole.

I didn’t bother to wash-up, I just brushed my teeth. I jumped into my car and drove off an hour and twenty minutes earlier than I should have. 9 o’clock – I made it to my destination. I didn’t see their vehicles so I knew that I was early. I pulled out my keys and unlocked the door – I just wanted to have another look around before those so very final words would sit at the bottom of my belly along with the butterflies.

Two of my employees where already there… we spoke, I shook their hands and told them thank you. They looked surprised as if they didn’t know what I was telling them. It was true, they didn’t know. The door buzzer when off as someone new walked into the building; it was Jim, the founder.

With out words, I passed my keys and managers card over to him. He looked me in my eyes and said I’m sorry! I’m sorry that it had to end this way. You were the best we’ve ever had and it is unfortunate that it must end this way. Of course we will not dispute unemployment benefits for you… and it will go on your record as an indefinite layoff with a good reference for your next employers. I was mute and felt the sting of his word lash across my reality.

It was now clear… All the sounds around me came back into focus and I could finally discern the reality from the fiction playing in the foreground of my mind. I stood up not realizing that we had even sat down the talk. I bundled up my things and quietly walked out the front door wishing this morning hadn’t come. The rain made the moment even more surreal as slow moving clouds concealed the suns rays hampered my recovery. What did I miss!? How could I have been such a fool to not see the signs, I thought? It didn’t matter anymore. I had only one option left!

It’s funny how we always seem to turn back to God for comfort in our moments of pain, hurt, feelings of loneliness, or most importantly when we are lost! So, today I ask God, to help me through this period of being lost. I also ask that God provide me with a lesson from this failure and grant me the wisdom to not make the same errors in judgment again. I lastly ask that God show me a way, a reason to keep on moving ahead! Can you do that for me God??

EARTH DAY

Today is a day of Earthiness... what does it mean? Well, I think it means that people around the world, for one day out of 365 days, decided not to trash the planet. Its good to remember that if we kill the planet - it means the end of us and all of its other inhabitants. So, lets have a little more Earthiness more often than just one day out of that 365!!!

The Prefect Disaster

Why are we so crazy when it comes to love? We meet people, share time with them then we bundle ourselves up with that person and call it a relationship! Why do we do it? Are we scared of being alone? Are we looking for a show-piece for our arms or are we seriously looking for companionship?

I’d like to think that it’s a bit of all of the above! I am really stupid! I have not been thinking straight. I have been looking for every excuse to not be with a great guy that anyone would want. I ignored the real reason why I didn’t want to be with him. But instead of telling him "ALL" of the truth. I let him say those three words - LETS BREAK UP -

I believe that I can finally tell the "Whole" truth and say – Yes! I was afraid. I was afraid that because we were in two different places when it came to our feelings about each other that I would kill the relationship. He is In-Love with me while I have love for him! Now you may ask yourself, what the hell does that mean - you only have love for him. Well, what it means is this: I like him a lot. I care for him and have feelings for him but I haven’t reached the state of being In-love with him yet!

I was concerned that I wouldn’t reach that stage since we have been together for several months and I haven’t fallen In-Love yet! So, I did the most predictable gay thing and broke it off with him because of my insecurities about my lack of complete love for him.

I did something even more wrong and hurtful… I tried to justify my reasons for not wanting the relationship by hiding behind a financial situation, the pain of loosing a cousin and the lost of my God Father; how stupid am I. I created the prefect disaster! I let him sail out on open seas right into the arms of my hurricane.

This big disaster is paramount and only trumped by the ignorance of its creator! How did I not see the underlining truth about my error in breaking up with my partner? It was bad enough that my partner asked me to give it a bit more time and see how I felt, but no, I didn’t want to hurt him and drag things on because it was uncomfortable, I told myself! DID I EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK I WAS SAYING TO MYSELF! How stupid that must have sound to my mate! He offered up every thing in the book of love and I took none of them! I shot down every plan of action that could have saved us and my stupid ass!

I am a DICK! I was so busy being me that I never stopped to see about him when all the time I was supposes to be caring about his feelings; his heart! Today I couldn’t get him out of my head. Yesterday, I couldn’t get him out of my head. Even, now I can’t get him out of my head. Oddly enough - it was my ex boyfriend that seemed to have the answer I was seeking.

It was then that I realized that I didn’t want to loose him. I didn’t want to give up on us. I couldn’t give up on us. I was so afraid that if we gave it a shot and it didn’t work out that he could or would resent me for all the energy he invested in me and I don't think I could take that… I don’t think I could have been as brave and strong as he was.

I only hope that I haven’t done too much damage that things cannot be repaired. We must talk and come to terms with the differences between us. We must talk about what it is that each of us want from each other and how do we get there as a team. And I can only say that if he is willing to except where I am in my love for him and time give me time – I am beyond ready to except his hand and give us a chance at a beautiful life together.

Lets leaving all disasters in the wake of our sail.

- P H O O -

WHEN YOU HAVE NEVER HAD SHIT,
AND YOU ACQUIRE SHIT, YOU
ARE NEVER AFRAID TO LOOSE SHIT!

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Its interesting how we can feel things and not know how to express them, but come across a video that conveys what we are thinking and feeling.

MOMENT 52 - Finding My Way

How do we decide what is best for us or the people that we love! In life I do believe that there are second chances, and in some cases third chances to get things right. More importantly with these chances will we have actually done right by others!

I am in a state of flux! I'm at a turning point in my adult life, which requires me to not be selfish and think about the well-being of others. Its odd how we think we know what's best for ourselves and even others; but is that a truth? Is it the development of becoming more self-aware that provides this sense of self-awareness or is it just foolish grandeur of a bad mind?

Either way I pray that God who finger tip is the cosmos itself blessed me with the care, kindness, understanding, and will to do right by other and myself. I decide my fate. I decide the rest of what life will be like for me. By making this statement I accept all of my outcomes - I accept me, who I was, who I am, and who I will become!

Only If The Rose!

Haven sent me a rose. It was the most beautiful of all the roses that heaven had ever created. I had asked for this rose and I did everything in my power to obtain it! I was lonely, unhappy, and cold. I thought that if I prayed to the heavens that they would bless me; and so the heavens did.

A beautiful red rose appeared before me. The rose was like no other rose before it and it instantly loved me. The rose was kind to me, treated me with respect, and understanding. The rose gave and gave and gave much of itself to me - so much - that I was overwhelmed by its passion & love.

The rose loved and it loved me, but I did not share the same love that the rose had for me. I thought that I was ready – open – and mature for what I had asked for; but I wasn’t. Time kept pace with me and moved as quickly as sands pebbles through an hourglass, but my feeling for the rose did not develop more!

How do you tell something so beautiful that you love it - but - aren't 'IN LOVE' with it! This was my dilemma. I concealed my true feelings for the rose behind veiled eyes. But the rose was wise and full of spirit. One day the rose wanted to know if it was ok to ask me a serious question. I replied yes rose, ask what you may.

The rose sat up straight – looked me in my eyes. “Do you love me asked the rose?” Of course I love you rose, I asked the heavens for you! No, I so apologize said the rose – are you in love with me!

I had not told the rose my true thoughts hoping that time would fill in the love that was missing… I could not lie… I could not tell someone so beautiful, so kind, and so wonderful that I was not in love. I couldn’t… It was too hard. But the rose who had placed all of its love into me had not received the same passion and fire that it had given to me.

With soft velvet petals, the rose did caress me. From its greens leaf like fingers the rose did fan cool air upon my brow, and with thorns that are to protect, the rose did not harm me. The rose was gentle and loving for all the days we shared!

I… I never wanted to hurt the rose. The rose asked little of me… and here I was about to destroy all that the rose had hoped for and all that I had asked the heavens to provide me with. But I needed to be a man! I needed to tell the rose the truth. Yes, I did and do love the rose… I love you… Yes, I do… but I am not in love with you my dearest rose!

The Yolk!

You are the pieces that make me hold. I am the outside that keeps you balanced. You are the center of my world, the yolk that I feed from. We are together never apart, where one cannot exist without the other.

I couldn't say this any other way, but I am ready for the unthinkable, the unbelievable and the incredible, where you are at the helm and I captain by your side.

I will take all that you can give and give all that you can take. We exist in spirit where the meaning of time exists only in the dreams of our creation. We are not bound by the rules of space and time where moments are taken forgathered. We feed upon each others growth and wisdom. We partake of each other, where mere words have the power to heal and cure.

We live among the all, but listen to nature. We do not ignore that voice that tells us life little secretes and we rejoice in the successes of our love by moving aside all failures.

May our lives be filled with love, trust, passion, true understanding and kindness for all our days! Please accept my hand, for with in my hand I hold my heart(the yolk)and you now hold that hand!

BUSH UNABATED

If you ever thought that an American occupation of a foreign country was scary - than you really need to watch this 18 minute video. In 2007 we made another of many bad decides that was caught on tape and leaked to the public three years later - on Monday 4/5/10 - This is exactly why the BUSH Administration should be hailed accountable for their crimes. This is absolutely unbelievable!

Baecon of Hope

There are times when I know you are tired and you cannot stand on your feet. I know that off in the distance you feel alone and helpless. Close your eyes and put one foot into the waters of the unknown. Now place the other foot in and lay back. stretch your arms out wide and move them through the water.

Release your fear for I am your support. If you cannot swim, I will be your life-raft. Breathe in deep and exhale slowly. Time is absence and we control its hands. Stay focused on your goal - for at the end of this endeavor - you will be successful.

I will let go - one hand at a time - so that you may swim on your own. Keep moving and don't stop. If you get lost - I'll be a beacon of positive hope floating out in the waters of time, so that you will always be able to find your way home.

I HATE HAVING A COLD!!!

Ok, my little brother was sick and decided that he shouldn't be the only one feeling crappy, coughing, sneezing, achy head and not being able to rest. So he devised a plan that would shake up the house. This little monkey, started coughing on everyone that came near him... despite the fact that we were trying our best to provide some basic feel good care.

Upon my first cough/sneeze I caulked it up to my allergies - right!? - WRONG! I was sick with a cold... My head, back, body, everything was achy. I had a slight fever and I could hear off in the distance a chuckle from my "CHEEKY" little brother. Not only did he get me sick, but he got My mom, my brother, my boyfriend, and two friends sick as well!!!! He need an ASS WOOPEN! But what can I do... I love him - even if he did make us all sick!

BRAT!!!

A Sad Day In My World!!!

This week was suppose to be a happy week for my Persian family. My Persian father (Iraj) had come home from the hospital and was doing better as he had been ill and in recovery. I took my vacation to come home to visit him, knowing he wasn't well. March 2nd, was a great day... My Persian father turn a whopping 70 years old and what made the day even better, my little brother was home from Iran to be with his father! We had a good time. I washed dads face, arms & feet, he smiled. I prepared to leave and head back to Philadelphia; I hugged dad, mom, my little brothers, Rooz and Sep then headed home. I knew soon it would be Norooz The Persian New Year and my little brother Rooz's birthday!

I was happy to know that I had seen dad just in case something happened while I was in Philadelphia. I told my boss that I wanted to pop back home for a short weekend to visit dad... I called my little bro and he told me that dad wasn't doing well. I had worked a long day and was a bit tired... but decided to rest a bit then drive 10 hours back to Michigan to see dad before he passes. I woke up and called home to check in. Ali, a wonderful friend and close member of my extended family told me that dad died the moment I called!

I couldn't believe it... This wonderful man that married a wonderful woman who gave birth to two amazing sons and accepted me as their son without criticism of who I was as a person... who didn't care about my past... who didn't care about anything other than loving me and opening their home to me was now GONE! There wasn't a day, a second, a moment that dad (Iraj) didn't love me, talk to me, motivate me... And I am sad to say that on this NOROOZ... I will not have him... I will not see his wonderful smile, I will miss his voice... I will miss the man I called father!

100lbs TO GO!

Guilty Pleasure

Why is my old friend hanging out with my man.... and lying to me about the reason? please tell me!

Never enough in the World!

Everyone in the world is working at break-neck speed. You may ask your self why, or for what. A friend of mine put up an interesting post on his blog. It was about the break-neck pace of work, money, sex, & ultimately power. I am a man who lives in a world where I must work to live. I must work to purchase food, I must keep the light & heating fuel going.

But is there a point when you've achieved the basic necessities of life that being food and a roof over your head, is there a need to go further? Why should we want to go any further than the basic needs of life. What happen to the days of just reading a good book? What happen to person to person correspondence that we so depended upon before Email, Instant messengers, Mobile phones, etc?

Technology has been a wonderful advancement in how we as human reach and respond to each other. Technology has been great in allowing us to be more connected, however, it has also had an adverse affect. Technology allows us to see horrific, terrible acts being preformed around the world. We sit in front of our HDTV's, our fancy computers, and watch from a far without haven't to interact with those in trouble, those in need of assistance. We may even send some money to a charity that sends money to HATTI! But we feel good after sending that little bit of money and our conscience is here by cleared!

So what is our issue, what the F%@k is our problem? Why is just a little never enough? Ask yourself, Why can't we be real with ourselves so we can be real with the rest of the world? This goes well beyond just you and me; its the world. Please can someone send me to MARS!!!

Our 1st Weekend Get Away

My Guy and I spent some time together on our first weekend Get Away.
It was a great time and we got to learn more about each other and
became a bit closer!

2010 - YEAR OF THE TIGER

Wow, it is really 2010... I can't even believe. The last decade wasn't easy. I had my fair share of issues... but I'm hoping that the next 10 years will go over much better than the last! So, I say to you all... Please by all means, go out and live your life. Don't sit home behind your computers or TV's. Engross yourself in life by participating. Be a go getter and love yourself a little bit more than you have in the past. And hey, no worries, remember, its the year of the TIGER!

-Tony.

P.S.

WELCOME TO 2010 -