Broken Promise!

I almost forgot what listening to an old song can do for you. It can bring back memories from your past, people that you were friends with, and even those that you may have loved. I can unmistakeably say that the song that I'm listening to now has done more than just invoke old memories. For a moment I was transported back to the mid-80's and the topic was all about Aaron James Williams.

How many times can you be in the presence of someone and feel their love and never express it! What were we afraid of? Aaron always protected me and sometimes from myself! He knew so much more than I did. He tried to teach me how to be a man without giving up who I was as a person. He compromised himself for me, but I was too young, too immature to understand.

I can honestly say that if there was ever a love, a moment, an anything that was never said you can believe me, it was Mr. Williams. Aaron was my Sauveur and he rescued me on more occasions than I needed to be saved. I know that he loved me in several different ways and I loved him too. He was the big brother and sometimes father that I so desperately needed.

I can see his smile and sometimes and I can picture what his eyes were like. I don't know what drive me crazy the most; the face that I can't remember his face or that I never told him how much he meant to me!? I imagine both are equally as bad, since its been many years since he died and I still cant stop crying when I think about him! I can't get your memory out of my head! I love you always! I promised I wouldn't leave you and I did!

I miss you Aaron. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like you were for me! I hope you forgive me for abandoning you!

forever, your friend!

IS THIS TOO MUCH!

I know that we meet people, fall in love, and try to live happily-ever-after. In living this happy life, we as partners share a variety of things such as our love, emotions, food, time, finances, etc. But the question I ask, is there something... one little thing that you wouldn't share with your mate??? If so, what is it?

For me the sharing stops at my toothbrush!!! Yes, I said my toothbrush. You see, my boyfriend has a habit of using my toothbrush and thinks that it is ok! I mean, its not like we don't kiss deeply and or other things related to oral (WHATEVER)! But you get my point.

So why am I so freaked out about my mate using my toothbrush? In my mind, its off limits to his mouth! I think a toothbrush is personal like a retainer... can you imagine your guy using your retainer? that's just gross! LOL. Well, let me know what you think!

Coming Together - Learning A Lesson

You know, today I realized something that I had forgotten. I realized that I have someone that truly loves me for me. I realized that I should be more open, communicate more about things that really matters in my relationship and stop prejudging and trying to determine the outcome before the outcome has even come.

I need to stop pretending that I'm Ms. Cleo, and that my crystal-ball is all seeing and all powerful. Yes, I may have a bit of magic on my side but it doesn't give me card-blanch to make lofty assumptions. I will admit, I'm still a bit ticked that my special someone will not spill his guts about a certain conversation that he had with someone I know. But I guess I will have to man-up and move on!

Its good to know that being a bit older you can still learn now to handle things that come at you. Moreover, I'm happy to say that I am looking forward to seeing how things develop from here on out!

Interestingly enough, we picked up some words of advice from Tatsu 1 & Tatsu 2, a lovely Japanese couple that we met on our visit to the Empire State Building Yesterday. The advice is as follows - The only drama you will experience is the drama that you bring into your own home from outside forces. So, limit the outside worlds exposure to your inside world and let your relationship blossom... words of the wise!

I'm sure the Tatsu's had their share of issues. After all, they have been together for 13 years! ;) I wish them well as do I wish us!

COMPROMISE

Baby,

You are special and I love the things you do for me. I love the
trips that we take and the time we share together. I know
you love your time with me and that is awesome. But I can't help
but think that you want all my time! I do not necessarily think
that it is a bad thing, meaning you wanting to have all my time.

But keep in mind that if we are sharing a weekend get-a-way and
I have spent 99% of that time with you - It should be ok for me
to do something that I want to do. I really want you to understand
that it is not that I want to run off alone or even do crazy things.
I just want our timed get-a-ways to be fun for the both of us! This
does not mean that I didn't have fun this weekend! I enjoyed the
shopping, food, and most of all the Dolphin watching! It was great.

So, next get-a-way. I am not coming back to the house and sitting on
the sofa to play with my computer, when we could have been out either
me playing poker or us at the beach for a moon lite walk! because we
can (AS YOU WOULD SAY) do that at another time or at HOME! ;)

You have my hope, understand, and even my love!

Tony.

THE SITUATION

What is the problem with this situation!

How is it that you can introduce your boyfriend to a friend of yours. Then your boyfriend and your “friend” have conversations that are not discussed with you? They are in a since private conversations that neither your boyfriend or the friend tells you about.

Now, lets had another layers to this situation… There is another “friend.” And your boyfriend goes out to dinners with and not once has invited your to join them… Keep in mind that you haven’t spoken to this other “friend” in about 3 months and neither the “friend” or the boyfriend and mentioned you… ask where are you… when is the last time who spoke!!!

Now, how would you feel if you called your boyfriend and they were on the phone with your “friend” and did not click over to answer you. But instead continued the conversation. When you asked them who they were talking to, they say your friend. You ask why didn’t they click over and they say, because we were have an intense conversation… SHOULD THERE EVER BE AN INTENSE CONVERSATION BETWEEN your mate and your “friend”?


There is more to come on this subject… what do you think people!

The Maddness of Men

I would have to say that I've been a bit stupid. I am not sure if this is a problem yet, but I wanted to know if anyone has experienced this type of issue. I have someone I who I am friends with who no longer talks to me yet still hangs out with my boyfriend.

So, I called him and asked. He said it was something to do with not wanting to be a third wheel. I didn't believe him, so I asked what was the real issue. He then opened up and said it was about him thinking I was angry or upset that we didn't hook up? I found this crazy, considering neither of us were interested in each other after our initial meeting, but we hung out as friends.

I probed again - gentility, no, what it the real reason, non of this makes sense. He deferred to a comment that I make a few months prior about a Disney movie with the first Afro-American princess. I joking commented that after all these years she's still not black enough. He was upset with me, but never told me the real reason. He was holding to these feelings. He was hanging out and calling my boyfriend but not calling me or talking to me.

So, I came to him like a man should and as I said before asked why! Again he deferred to a new statement. I didn't know how to being up that I was still upset with that comment you made.

By the end of the conversation, so we made up and called it a day. we agreed that everything was Ok. Its nice to have my buddy back! Sadly, it was the first time we talk in about three months.

Through The Darkness

It is hardest to see the light at the end of any tunnel until someone starts to leads you through the darkness!